One of my new year's resolutions was to stop sitting around and letting life trickle around me, but rather get in there and do what I intend to without waiting around. I often find myself in the shadow of another, waiting for them to make a decision, waiting for them to make me do something. It is on the verge of absurd, but I often find myself drifting on the edge rather than fully immersed in the crashing waves. My side is pretty calm most of the time but I find myself getting frustrated, blaming others and getting all worked up. I have never really liked waves but perhaps a few swells would do me good. I am going to try avoid tsunamis though...although I think every so often one does come around (with little or no warning)
I used to find it easy to blurt things out, as I have aged I have learnt to control this (most of the time) but now I seem to keep quiet all the time. There has to be a happy medium? It is inevitable that someone will not be happy with what is said. At what cost does one choose to be true to oneself? When are the stakes too high? Am I just being a coward? It seems to me that there are more questions than answers. And there I thought I had life all figured out. Do we ever have it figured out?
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